my blog started out really cool but now it's just a bunch of youtuber gifs mixed with a lot tears and bad humor.
twitter: @ironicallyrad AND @phanwedding2022 (i count down the days until 2022 cuz i'm cool like that)
also go follow my attack on titan/anime blog if ya want: thefreckledboydied.tumblr.com
i survived the mishapocalypse. probably my biggest accomplishment in life
Warning: smut!!!!1! angst!!1!2!!!
Phil was sitting on the couch looking at pictures of lions, roaring at the screen trying to imitate them.
“Wot are you doing Phil?” Dan asked
“I’m a lion ROAR! Don’t you do that in your free time? That’s because you’re posh”
“I am not posh!!1! I am a-r-t-i-c-u-l-a-t-e!”
Phil looked at dan lovingly. Dan was a posh boy, but he was HIS posh.
“Don’t get so worked up over it dan”
Dan sat next to phil, crossing his arms. He wouldn’t look at phil and phil started to worry.
“Dan! I’m sorry okay!”
Phil put his face in front of Dan’s, trying to get his attention but Dan just looked away ((what a jerk))
“Dan pls i’m sorry”
Dan looked at him and their eyes locked instantly.
“W0w!” Dan thought “he is my best friend!¡ i can’t do this!”
But the urge to kiss phil took over him and he sent their lips crashing.
Phil was very surprised and was about to say “wow dan what are you doing?” but then he stopped himself because the way dan kissed was really hot. He was getting a boner. Shit! Dan moved his hands repeatedly up and down phil’s chest, as if to create fire. It wasn’t really needed though because the boy was already smokin hot! He fumbled with phil’s jeans, quickly unzipping them.
Phil’s heart raced. He was a bit scared, he thought he was having a heart attack but it was just beating really fast. It would’ve been a shame if he had a heart attack now. Now that they had gone so far. He had been waiting his whole life for this moment. It all narrowed down to this.
Suddenly, Dan grabbed phil’s dingly dangly, making it hard as hardened clay. He moved his hands up and down, phil’s breath quickening.
He then stopped. Phil glanced at him like “wtf why did you stop it was so good!” but he then understood why. Dan was pulling his own pants down, revealing his also hard happy stick. They didn’t have any lube, so dan decided to go in dry.
Both of them cried out at the pain of the dryness. It was like a desert but there was no sand and it was dark so all that was left was the dryness!!
However, that didn’t stop dan from banging his hips into phil’s rapidly. The pain was soon replaced with pleasure, and both of them forgot about the dryness. Phil let out soft moans. As they increased volume, dan realized they weren’t normal moans. Phil was actually roaring!
“I’ve been practicing”
Dan sighed. He wanted to make this special for phil, so whenever he moaned, he would do his own animal noise: a llama. The room was soon filled with their animal noises, getting louder and more consistent with each thrust. Dan fucked phil ferociously in the butt until they both reached a perfectly synchronized orgasm.
They collapsed on the couch.
Phil inched closer to dan “i love you”
“I love you and i always have, dan”
“we… had buttsecks. i thought that meant you liked me”
“LOL phil i did it IRONICALLY!”
Phil pouted, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Dan stood up from the couch, swaying his ass side to side as he walked to his room. He stopped, glancing back at phil and added “fyi i like vagina” and with that he was gone.
Phil slept in the couch that nite, crying tears of blood (he was crying so much he ran out of tears so his body used blood to continue the crying). He had loved dan for so long! And he had just used him like that! For the secks! Phil was mad. He ran to the kitchen and got a pitch fork. Huffing he hurried to dan’s room, kicking the door down. He stabbed him in the chest. The blood of phil’s tears and dan’s gaping wound joined together, beautifully and perfectly mending as one. Even though dan was ded their love was eternal.
:—((((((( reblog if u cries
fuck dan howell but also fuck dan howell
IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER
YOU GOTTA GET away from my friends because they’re more attractive looking and cooler than me and you might choose them instead which i completely understand because im ugly
Dan’s always been quiet. Even when he’s around me sometimes. The other kids don’t like Dan. They say he’s a freak. I don’t think he is. I think he’s wonderful. He’s always there for me and I’m always there for him. He knows about my big sister going to heaven; and I know about the bruises from his dad. We both promise not to tell, though. We pinkie swore. Me and Dan do everything together. Everyday we hold hands and walk down to the park and play in the sandbox after school. Always
i feel lonely but i also want to be alone this is so confusing
is it bad that i just want to be alone most of the times. all the time.